HAHA FARCE

if only...
for anyone who's ever despaired of the culture of litigation in the states, abandon all hope ye who click here...

that's right, one of the top stories on bbc.com documents the travails of welsh 14-year old kristy mcrae, who ran afoul of GROSS NEGLIGENCE, when, using a coin-operated tanning bed (aka DEATH MACHINE) without the immediate presence of a non-brain dead mammal, acquired FIRST DEGREE BURNS over 70% of her body.

for those of you who have never suffered the AGONY and psychological trauma of a first degree burn, perhaps this SHOCKING DESCRIPTION will help you to understand poor, pink kristy's plight:

"First-degree burns are red and very sensitive to touch. First-degree burns involve minimal tissue damage. These burns affect the outer-layer of skin causing pain, redness and swelling. Sunburn is a good example of a first-degree burn."

that's right. and imagine the insult added to kristy's injury by the callous implication of the salon owner: that kristy should actually have read the warning signs posted all over the store, when no one was there to hold her hand and remind her to sound out the longer words. "operating within the law" indeed...when obvious illiterates can just wander in the door and expose themselves to concentrated UV rays at £1 a pop using technology that your average monkey trained through a basic rewards system could operate without incident? disgusting. WHERE IS THE ACCOUNTABILITY I ASK YOU??

kristy was admitted to the hospital, for, um, a coupla hours...and now must suffer the indignity of regular lotion application. indeed, whose heart wouldn't be wrenched by her story of TERROR:

"It is something I don't think I'll ever forget about how scared I was and how I didn't realise just going on a tanning bed could result in going to hospital and being quite ill" ...She added: "It was extremely frightening. I was just glad I got out of hospital."

our thoughts are with you, kristy...mostly the ones along the lines of "maybe idiots shouldn't be allowed to wander the streets with loose change."